Then, on facebook, I see people post pictures of "Santa" gifts all laid out and how they were so excited for their kids to wake up to them. I know I'll never get to do that for McKinley. Its just hard. Even though she was due in February, she should still be with us for Christmas. I should still be feeling her kick around when I eat too much sugar and she should be waking me up 10 times a night to go to the bathroom.
On the ride up to my in-laws, I hear on the radio a song that I have heard for years and it now has a completely new meaning to me... "All I Want For Christmas Is You..." Songs have been doing that to me lately...
I knew Christmas would be hard for me, but I do know she had a great day. She got to spend her very first Christmas in Heaven! What a party!! Can you imagine celebrating Jesus' birthday in heaven??
I miss her terribly but I know that she is happy and whole, and beautiful as an angel.
Matt gave me a very special gift for Christmas this year; a beautiful necklace with McKinley's November birthstone. I will treasure it forever.
2 comments:
Funny how a song that you have heard a million times before now takes on a whole new meaning for you. All I want for Christmas was one of those songs for me as well this year. I was cursing Mariah Cary quite a few times this Christmas season.
Being at Quinn's grave makes me feel close to her as well. We had considered having her cremated and kept here and I am so glad that we didn't. I need that place to go and be close to her at times.
It is so hard to think of all of the things that we will never get to do with our angels. But, they are forever with us and watching over us. They see us at all times so really, we can do those things with them in a way. Yeah we can't watch them as they open their gifts on Christmas but they are there with us as we open ours.
God Bless!
I bet our kids are friends in heaven. This year has been a tough one after losing our second baby then my grandma with 6 weeks of each other. I have the book called "heaven is for real" and it makes me smile.
The other day I saw the children's version of the book and the illustrations of what that little boy saw and what heaven must be like. One day I hope to have that book (I have a long list)
There's a book another mom gave me (her daughter went to heaven at 10 months) called "The one year book of Hope" it's really good and I recommend it to everyone not just grieving but going through a tough time.
2012 I pray will bring us happiness :) praying for your grieving heart
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