McKinley's Friends

I have started a new tab at the top of my blog called "McKinley's Friends"  I copied its contents in this post. 


After receiving the devastating news that McKinley had Trisomy 13, a diagnosis considered "incompatible with life," I desperately starting searching the Internet for people in the same situation knowing that I couldn't be the only one. I had difficulty at first, then a friend connected me to the blog of a family with the same diagnosis. This is how I came in contact with all the amazing women and families I have come to know that have been affected (or are being affected) by Trisomy 13. Now that McKinley is in heaven, this group of women, some I know in person and some I haven't met, have played a crucial role in my healing process.

I saw this done on another blog (Thanks Holly!) and thought it was a wonderful idea. I would like to start a list of babies that have gone to heaven, to hopefully connect other moms/families if they happen to stumble across my blog.

If you have a precious baby in heaven, due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss and would like to be added to this list, please leave a comment on this post (if you don't have a google account, it will give you an option to leave the information anonymously as well) with the following:

-Your name
-Baby's Name (if given one)
-Birthday, Born into Heaven Date, and/or Angel Dates
-Diagnosis/Reason they left us (if you received one)
-Blog Link (if you have one, so that others can find your blog)

**Even if you do not currently have a blog, still send me the other information so we can recognize your sweet baby and have others pray for you. If you decide to start a blog at a later time, just send me your updated information and I will be glad to add it**

Would everyone please join me and pray for these families?

McKinley's Friends

(Click on the tab at the top of the blog to see the ones that have been added)

Time

This week I was asked to fill out a survey for the "Getting to Know You" section of the newsletter for my company.  It's just a random set of questions for the employees to learn new things about their coworkers.  Question #4  "What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?"  Whoa! <Time stood still while I thought about my answer>  My answer would be a close tie between:  (1) carrying my daughter knowing that she would die.  (2) burying my daughter having never seen her breathe her first breath.  So...needless to say, I decided to skip this question... I figured this would be a little way too much to put in a monthly company newsletter.

From the day McKinley was born, I have struggled with the fact that I did not get to carry her to full term and that I did not get to see her breathe her first breath. Some days I feel at peace with this and other days, I really struggle.  It's so odd feeling so thankful and happy for the time I had with her, but so sad at the same time for the lack of time I had with her.  I struggle with the fact that I did not get days, hours, or even minutes with her like I was preparing my heart for in the months leading up to her birth.  I also know that no matter the amount of time I had with her, it would never seem like enough.  So please pray for me as I continue to search for peace in this.

 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

The "Club"

Here is a picture of the "club" I wish I didn't have to be in, but that I am so, so thankful for! (One of the many times during this experience that I have dealt with two completely opposite feelings at the exact same time.)

From left to right:  Sandra, Kara (Devotions to Dalton), Jeannie (Lessons from Porter), Katie (the little green family), me, and Shannon

On Saturday night, Jeannie invited us all over to her house for coffee and desserts.  I am so thankful for these women and what they have meant to me over the last several months.  This time when our group got together, we invited the husbands as well!  Here is the "family" shot!

Each of these families have been affected by Trisomy.  We are all at different points in our journey, and even though our stories are very similar, they are very different at the same time.  It was so nice to have the husbands there as well.  The guys sat outside by the fire while we sat inside where it was nice and warm!  Our conversations were so full of faith, strength, and hope. It was so encouraging. Jeannie said it best in her blog, "There is an extraordinary bond and understanding when you have experienced this kind of journey."  This is very true.  Even though we have known each other for a short time, there was so much to talk about and so much love for one another.  Carrying my daughter, knowing that she will die and having no clue how long I will have with her is one of the hardest things I have ever had to experience...these women completely get it...

Jeannie gave each of us the most thoughtful gift--a handkerchief monogrammed with our daughter/son's initials.  I treasure anything and everything with McKinley's name or initials on it.  I absolutely love seeing and hearing her name, so this was such a special gift to me.

Katie quoted something that Sandra said Saturday night that I would like to share.  It brought me so much peace and happiness.  So, I am going to quote Katie since she paraphrased it in her blog:

"She (Sandra) said for her, it was like Holland was never really hers - like she was God's all along. That it was her job and her joy to carry her and be her mom. That when Holland passed, she was just handing her back to the One who made her. So true!! We are just the lucky moms (and I do mean that, lucky!) to have held angels."

At the end of the night, Shannon, who is a little further out in her journey than the rest of us, prayed over the mothers; and her husband prayed over the fathers.  It was so uplifting and special.

So thankful for this amazing group.

 

Prayer Requests

One of the many unexpected blessings from McKinley's life has been meeting some awesome new friends.  After we received the diagnosis, one of my dear friends Erin, told me that her sister had a friend here in Atlanta that was also pregnant with a baby with Trisomy 13.   Erin asked if she could give her my email address.  This is how I met Katie (the little green family)!  That very night Katie sent me a very comforting email and I knew her friendship would be a blessing to me. 

Katie's baby girl Hallie, was born on December 19, 2011 and lived a precious and love-filled 4 and a half days. I will be attending Hallie's Memorial Service this Saturday to celebrate her life.  Please pray for this family as they are continuing in their healing process.   The Green family is the epitome of love and life shown through God's unfailing grace. 

From Katie's blog I found Miranda (Annalise Lilly).  Her baby girl was born into heaven on August 19, 2011.  She lost around the same time in pregnancy that I did.  Unfortunately, I have not met Miranda in person because we are separated by 8 hours, but her friendship via blogs and emails has been such a blessing to me.  Pray for Miranda and her husband for continued healing and peace in God's plan for them. 

From Katie's blog I also found Kara (Devotions to Dalton) .  Her son Dalton, has severe partial trisomy 13 and is due in February.  We discovered that its a small world and that her husband and I are from the same hometown with some mutual friends!  Kara's strength and hope through this whole experience has been an inspiration to me.  Please pray for her and Jonathan as they prepare to meet Dalton, and as the unknowns of his medical conditions become known.  Pray for Dalton's physical strength to endure delivery and life outside, and pray for emotional strength for mommy and daddy.  I have great hope in his life.  I am so excited to attend Kara's shower in honor of Dalton this weekend!  I can't wait to meet this precious little boy!!

More recently, I have been in contact with a few more moms going through this journey (you can find links on my blog).  A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to get together with 4 other moms (Katie, Kara and 2 others) to Trisomy babies in the Atlanta area.  One of the moms decided it would be good for the husbands to meet so we are getting together at her house for dessert and coffee in a couple weeks. I can't wait for that!

I know that I would be in a very different place emotionally and in my healing process if it weren't for these women and such a great support group. I am so thankful for each one of you!  In a recent post,  Meghan (Quinn's Story) said, "This isn't a "club" that I wanted to join.  I have heard it said that this is the "club" with the highest membership dues."  This is so true.  No mother should ever be told that her baby will most likely not survive.  No mother should ever have to endure the immense grief of burying her baby.  As I stated in an earlier post, even though this is not what I would have ever expected my life to be like, this is My Story, and I serve a gracious God who will help me through it.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  Psalm 34:18

Healing

As stated in my last blog, last Sundays sermon was about "Suffering," and this Sundays sermon was about "Healing."  The series was about the Supernatural: When Prayer Invades the Natural.  I wanted to share some notes that I took today that I found very helpful.

The sermon was split up into 3 parts:  The "Do Know," The "Don't Know," and The "Who Knows."

1.  The "Do Know"

-God is not the source of sickness, sin is.  Even though we or someone we love probably doesn't get sick based on our sins directly, we live in a world of sin.  No one is sin-free.
-God does supernaturally heal.
-All healing is temporary.  We will all die at some point.
-God invites us to be a part of healing through prayer.

2. The "Don't Know"

-Why God does not heal some.  God does not heal everyone, every time.
-We don't know what God sees.  His ways and thoughts are much higher than ours.

(The pastor told us a story of him and his youngest son.  They were in the car driving while his son was in the back seat playing legos.  All of the sudden, Kevin (our pastor) slams on his brakes and the legos go everywhere.  His son gets really angry with him because now his legos are everywhere and he has to clean them up.  All his son knew was that this ruined what he was building with his legos.  Later, Kevin sits his son down and says, "What you don't know about the car ride is that a deer ran out in front of our car and I slammed on brakes to keep you safe from harm and possibly save your life." )

His son didn't know what he saw.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

3.  The "Who Knows"

(This is hope-filled)
-God might be gracious!

**The ultimate healing is eternal life, and he offers that to everyone who is willing to accept it.**

I hope that whatever you may be going through that these notes were helpful to you like they were for me!